Top 5 Worst Movies of 2013

Posted: December 30, 2013 in Movie reviews, Top 10s
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Well I’ve listed my favourite movies of 2013, but let’s be honest, you’re really here to see the worst movies. Now unlike my favourite movies list this one was easier as there were less choices, I didn’t even have 10 (I mean c’mon, I’m not going to see a movie if I know it’s going to suck). Nevertheless there were still some disappointments that I expected more from and just some stinkers altogether. So here are my top 5 least favourite movies of 2013.Worst Banner

5. Man of Steel

Man of Steel

Whilst Man of Steel may not be a terrible movie I had high hopes for it. I was hoping it would be to Superman what Batman Begins was to Batman, but unfortunately it failed, but not entirely. The opening scene on Krypton is stunning and Russell Crowe carries out the dramatic moments well, but when we get to Earth it goes downhill. Henry Cavill makes for a rather bland lead and the movie’s jarring flashbacks try to make the movie seem deep, but it doesn’t take long to sink into generic action territory. Admittedly the action scenes look impressive and there’s lots of destruction, but it’s all a soulless affair. I say check this movie out as you might like it, it just wasn’t for me.

(FLAME SHIELD!)

4. Les Miserables

Les Miserables

Oh I can just hear people screaming in rage at me. Yeah, I hated Les Miserables. I understand that it’s a musical, but for god’s sake, you don’t need to sing everything. Especially normal dialogue which would be so much easier to just say properly, it just feels unnatural. At least most of the singing is done well (except for Russell Crowe), and I can’t deny Anne Hathaway did well on ‘I Dreamed a Dream’, but the movie’s other big criminal offence IT’S SO FREAKING BORING! Seriously, this is a near 3 hour movie of force-fed emotions and unnecessary singing. Was this movie just made for fans of the original play? It certainly wasn’t made to win over new audiences. Nah, it was just made to win Oscars.

3. After Earth

After Earth

I know what you’re thinking, how could you go wrong with Will Smith? Oh believe me you can go wrong. The basic idea behind After Earth is a father and son crash land on a quarantined Earth which was evacuated due to pollution (Really? I dunno, for a “polluted planet” there sure is a lot of greenery.) and they have to try and survive. Will Smith’s usual charm and charisma is gone as he gives a performance to suggest he didn’t want to be doing this, even worse is his son Jaden who gives a razzie worthy performance. This movie has also drawn comparisons to Battlefield Earth for it’s Scientology propaganda, and that’s never a good sign. For a more thought provoking apocalyptic Sci-Fi movie I’d say stick to Oblivion.

2. The Harry Hill Movie

The Harry Hill Movie

OK for this movie I don’t think anyone was expecting greatness, but still that’s no excuse for what we got. When you think Harry Hill or TV Burp you don’t exactly consider it movie material. So why was this even made? The jokes are dumb and often cringe worthy, most characters are annoying and there are also some rubbish musical scenes to boot. The sad part is most of the actors aren’t bad. The likes of Simon Bird and Julie Walters at least seem to be trying with the awful material they’re given, but they can’t save this movie from crashing and burning. In the end I’ll say this movie is strictly for children only.

Before number 1 here are some quick (Dis)Honourable mentions for other movies that just failed to deliver: Epic, The Lone Ranger, The Wolverine, World War Z

1. InAPPropriate Comedy

Inappropriate Comedy

Whilst the Harry Hill Movie was bad at least it was inoffensive. The same thing cannot be said for InAPPropriate Comedy. Essentially this movie is a sketch comedy with a tablet featuring apps with the world’s most offensive videos, but this ain’t no South Park. There’s nothing topical or metaphorical to these jokes, it’s just offensive for the sake of being offensive, really the worst kind of humour out there. The acting is all round bad. I expected nothing less from Rob Schneider and Lindsay Lohan, even Adrien Brody is terrible (No wonder he’s resorted to doing shaving adverts now). Some of you might think it’s worth watching just for shock value but I assure you it is not. It’s a comedy that completely failed at being funny, and is easily the worst movie I’ve seen all year.

Well there were my favourite and least favourite movies of 2013, now bring on 2014.

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